


Passive

by Pansychic27213



Series: Good Loki, Good Tony, Good Avengers Family [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, I did not know about comic Hawkeye at the time of writing, I wrote this a loong time ago, Light Angst, Old fic transfer from Fanfiction.net, This is based entirely off the MCU, welp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 11:30:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18072614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pansychic27213/pseuds/Pansychic27213
Summary: What I thought - a few years ago - was a character exploration of Clint based entirely on the MCU.I know better now, but I still think this is an interesting read.





	Passive

**Author's Note:**

> Originally Published: 12/17/2015

**Passive**

 

-{[(-)]}-

 

Clint, out of all the Avengers, was the quietest. It wasn't because he was dumb, or didn't have anything to say. He was just very reserved, and he liked watching from a distance.

 

People expected Natasha to be the quiet, observant type. It was odd to them, how she was, in fact, the opinionated one. She was a assassin and a spy, true, but she knew when she was free to speak her mind and did so without reserve.

 

Clint preferred to remain silent and hold all his cards until the time came. It wasn't difficult. Living at the circus with his big brother encouraged him to hold his tongue, and even if it hadn't, he was simply a humble person.

 

The archer liked quietly looking at things, in real life or on the Internet. He had a Pinterest account under an alias that he used to look at things he was interested in, and he followed a few people on Tumblr as well. The other Avengers didn't know this, of course. And Jarvis assured him that Tony wouldn't hack his search history at anytime.

 

In real life, the Avengers often went on bonding trips (Steve liked to call them team building exercises, but Tony insisted they were just vacations) or ran errands together. Clint would often trail behind the others, observing the beautiful things around them. Sometimes he even touched things.

 

A lot of mundane things seemed beautiful to him, who had spend his life on the streets for so long. Snow globes, flowers, perfume bottles... He admired these lovely things from afar, never admitting he'd like to have any.

 

The other Avengers never noticed his slightly odd behavior, and it was never an issue. Even Natasha missed his quiet longing. But that was okay. He didn't  _need_  any of these things, and life would go on.

 

Even if his heart sank every time.

 

-{[(•)]}-

 

It was almost time for their first Christmas together in the tower. Tony brought in large crates of fancy decorations, and the team had a ball putting them up and decorating the twelve foot tree. Bruce pulled out some recipes he had gathered for different holidays around the world; the smell of something baking was always in the air. Steve finally dug through SHIELD's storage for his old music albums, and he even brought his gramophone. Thor retrieved some Asgardian mead and charms for the party on Christmas day, and Natasha set up a series of surprise gifts around the tower.

 

Clint quietly suggested they go Christmas shopping together. They spilt off into groups to buy gifts, then switched partners so they could buy for the others. It was a kind of odd system, but Tony said it always worked when he and his friends had been in high school. Everyone brought their own money. Everyone coordinated their partners. Everyone knew what they wanted to buy.

 

For the first half of the trip, Clint followed Thor around the mall. Of course Tony and Bruce had paired off, but Natasha had wanted to take care of SHIELD agent gifts first and didn't want Clint to ruin the surprise. So she had run off with Steve.

 

Thor was bouncing from window to window excitedly, running in almost every store and using  _solid gold_  Asgardian coins to purchase whatever he desired. Clint honestly couldn't tell what was for others and what was for Thor himself, but the archer didn't say a  word. He silently bought everything he needed and admired the different wares being offered.

 

It was somewhere in Macy's they bumped into Steve and Natasha. Thor hurried up to them to show them everything he had bought. Clint stayed behind the three and admired a rack of scarves.

 

Each had a different pattern, but they were each very soft. His calloused fingers ran over a fuzzy white one, and he enjoyed the feeling on his skin. He looked at the price tag and considered buying it. But then Thor decided to bound off again, and Clint sadly left it behind to make sure his partner didn't get lost in the mall.

 

-{[(•)]}-

 

Christmas day came. The tower was alive with activity. All the windows in the lower half were dark, as everyone had gone home for the holidays. But the upper half was a much different story.

 

Thor had invited Loki, Jane, Darcy, and Eric; Bruce had Betty; Tony had Pepper, Rhodey and Happy; Steve had Bucky and Sam; Clint and Natasha both had Coulson, who had invited his girlfriend from Portland and Fury. Everyone was mingling, sampling baked goods, bringing in  _more_  baked goods, cooking dinner, watching holiday movies, dancing to Steve's records, drinking candy cane vodka (thanks to Natasha) and gingerbread whiskey (thanks to Tony). Dinner was delicious as expected, and dishes were a worry for another day.

 

It was time to open gifts.

 

They went around the room, having each person open one of their gifts. Clint received new arrows (from Tony), a new CD (from Steve), a bottle of apple scented lotion (from Thor), an ugly sweater (from Natasha, who thought she was funny), a Hawkeye costume (from Fury, who also thought he was funny), and a Swarovski crystal snowflake ornament wrapped in  _the_  white scarf (from Coulson).

 

Clint had opened each carefully, hoping for a meaningful gift like the ones he had carefully selected for everyone else. For Tony, he had gotten a little toy robot and asked Jarvis to program it as a little friend for the workshop. For Bruce, there was a set of herbs only available in the countries he had lived. For Steve, a picture frame of 1940s photos, of the Avengers, of art pieces, of the Howling Commandos. For Thor, a large, durable book about the history of earth and the effects on pop culture in different regions. For Fury, a cheesy 'Worlds Best Boss' mug with collectable Avengers action figures inside. For Coulson, a new, very finely designed, leather briefcase with various pockets and a pack of fancy new pens and highlighters. And for Natasha, a crystal ballerina figurine with a pink tutu and red hair.

 

Each Avenger had been surprised at first, before becoming various states of joyful and teary-eyed. Everyone was shocked to learn the gifts were from Clint, and as he opened his own presents, they looked a little ashamed.

 

He was happy with everything he had gotten of course, but he just didn't feel like the other shad put as much effort into his gifts as he did into theirs. He felt somewhat unwanted and silly.

 

Except for Coulson's gift.

 

Coulson had watched pleasantly as Clint carefully unwrapped the scarf from the ornament. His grey eyes lit up, and he gently lifted it for the others to see.

 

"An ornament?" Tony snorted. He thought he knew Clint so well, giving the archer special arrows. They were cool and all, but they still had too much of Tony himself in the gift.

 

Clint wanted to tell them he loved it simply because it was beautiful, but he stayed quiet and just admired the way the light shone through the crystal. He carefully ran his fingers over the cleanly cut edges, traced the intricate designs of the snowflake, enjoyed the smooth glass.

 

Natasha watched him carefully until her brown eyes widened and a flicker of guilt danced across her face. "Oh Clint," she said quietly and moved across the room to pull him into a hug. "I'm sorry. I should have noticed."

 

"I don't understand," Darcy said, glancing around the room. "What just happened?"

 

"Each of us has a past," Coulson began to explain to her. "Clint had a difficult childhood, and he didn't get to see many... 'pretty' things in his life. He's been quietly giving everyone what they didn't even realize they wanted, but not really taking anything for himself. Natasha is apologizing because she didn't recognize his internal struggle."

 

"Oh-kay?" Darcy mumbled.

 

"I also have a gift for Mr. Barton," Jarvis announced from the ceiling. Most of the room looked up in surprise. As Jarvis wasn't human, they assumed he wouldn't be interested in exchanging gifts. He certainly hadn't gotten one for anyone else.

 

At that moment, the elevator doors opened, and one of the bots from the workshop rolled out. A box was delivered to Clint, and the robot merrily returned to the elevator. Cautiously, the man opened the box.

 

Inside was a pile of objects from his Pinterest account. Gorgeous snow-globes, preserved flowers, framed pictures of architecture and space.

 

Clint pulled each item out, one by one. "Jarvis, this- this-" he fumbled, at a loss for words.

 

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Barton," Jarvis stated, and it would be a lie to say he didn't sound fond.

 

"I... Thank you," the man smiled, eyes getting moist. He looked at the other gifts he'd been given. He considered them for a moment, before he realized that if he wanted something, he should speak up for it. People weren't going to be able to read his mind, and it wasn't Natasha or anyone else's job to try and guess what he needed.

 

That Jarvis and Coulson had paid such close attention was great, but the others' gifts had meant something too. Tony had been trying to get closer with his arrows, and Natasha and Fury's gifts were cheesy but playful and friendly. Clint remembered Thor asking him what he thought of the apple lotion when they were in the mall, and as team leader, Steve probably knew about his hearing loss. They weren't bullseyes, but they hit close to the center of his heart.

 

He looked up at the others with a smile and genuinely declared, "Thank you." They looked relieved, and he recognized how ungrateful he had been. On the streets he had nothing, and it was amazing to be freely giving and receiving gifts with his new frie- no, family.

 

The Avengers were more of a family than he'd ever had.

 

Now he just had to learn to speak up.

 

**Author's Note:**

> QUESTION OF THE UPDATE: If you could get any present right now, what would you want it to be? If you had to give a present right now, who would you give it to and what would it be?


End file.
